Week 11 Story: The Most Brilliant Student

Once Upon a Time, there was a very large, very strong high school student who looked like a football player. But he was not; he was academically brilliant and dreamed of joining the academic team and competing in quiz competitions. However, he knew that because he looked large and buff and – let’s face it – not entirely intelligent, the coach of the team wouldn’t take him seriously. So, he decided to find a traditionally nerdy-looking guy who could pretend to be the brains of the operation, and the big guy could pretend to be his bodyguard.

So he goes into the band hall and sees a short, spindly student with glasses and a bow tie – perfect. He goes over and asks if the nerdy guy will front for him to get them both into the debate team, then the big guy will answer all the questions, and they can split any awards that they win. The nerdy guy agrees, and they set out to find the coach.

When the coach sees the two, she asks the nerdy guy, “Why are you here?” The nerdy student responds, “I want to be on your academic team.” The coach asks, “Who is the big guy with you?” and the nerdy guy responds, “That’s, uh, my bodyguard. If I don’t have him with me, I get scared and can’t focus on trivia.” The coach thinks for a minute then hands them both a registration form.

Having successfully joined the academic team, the dynamic duo wins many inter-school competitions. The big guy whispers the answers to the nerdy guy, who answers correctly every time. They conquered every high school in the county, and it is soon time for regionals.

Unfortunately, all the wins and cash prizes and praise were starting to go to the nerdy guy’s head, and he turns on the big guy, saying “I can do fine without you! You think you’re the only one who knows trivia? I don’t need you anymore!” He spat a few more unkind remarks and marched out.

But a few days later is regionals. This is the most important competition of the year, and the stakes are high. The academic team geared up, with the nerdy guy at the forefront. The big guy knew too well that the nerdy guy doesn’t know any trivia, so he shows up anyway, seating himself behind the nerdy student as usual. The beginning of the competition is called…and the nerdy guy panics. The big guy whispers to him, “Hold on, don’t panic. I’m here for you.” But the nerdy guy is so scared that he squirms out of his chair and dashes back to the parking lot, where he has to stop and puff on his inhaler, never to return to the world of academic trivia.

So, without missing a beat the big guy slides into the chair previously occupied by the nerdy guy and smoothly leads the academic team to a conclusive victory, delivering the answers that he had always known, but used to pass through the mouthpiece of the nerdy guy. At the win, the team cheered and called him “the most brilliant student” and made him president of the academic team, showering him with trophies (and college recommendation letters.)

The End.

Nerd and Jock: Irony. (Marko Raassina, link)

Bibliography: More Jataka Tales by Ellen C. Babbitt (link)

Author’s Note: This story was based on the Jataka Tale “The Brave Little Bowman,” about a small twisted man who was an excellent bowman and wanted to join the king’s army, but knew he would not be taken seriously. He recruits a big and strong man to get them both into the army, then does all the work. Finally, a war is about to break out and the strong man gets scared and runs off, so the small bowman leads the army to victory and is showered with praise and made the captain of the army when he gets back. I decided to turn the tables a little bit and make the protagonist someone society would normally accept, but who would not be welcome in the team he wanted to join. All ends well for him though, with a similar victory and being rewarded for the efforts that were his all along.